


The One Where Sirius Is Texting

by gracegraylove



Series: When two worlds meet [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Artist Remus Lupin, Bad Flirting, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Celebrity Crush, Confident Remus Lupin, Dorcas and Marlene are our favourite lesbians, Everyone Is Gay, Falling In Love, Famous Sirius, Gay Severus Snape, Gay Sirius Black, Internet Famous, Love at First Sight, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Queer Regulus Black, Sassy Remus Lupin, Sirius Black is a Little Shit, Social Media, Swearing, Texting, author Remus, istg, lots and lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28579995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracegraylove/pseuds/gracegraylove
Summary: Sirius texts multiple people, Remus makes him hot and bothered, James is laughing his posh arse off and Lily is giving him a shovel talk.(Part 3 of my 'When Two Worlds Meet' series. Read the first two before reading this, it makes no sense as a stand-alone)
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: When two worlds meet [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089932
Comments: 7
Kudos: 69





	The One Where Sirius Is Texting

**Author's Note:**

> * * *
> 
> Private conversation with ___
> 
> * * *
> 
> Are Instagram text messages
> 
> * * *
> 
> [name]
> 
> * * *
> 
> Are sms or whatsapp, whatever you prefer
> 
> Have fun reading <3  
>  \--------

* * *

Private conversation with **m** **oonzyy**

* * *

Holy fucK (6:04pm)

Remus! (6:04pm)

I didnt think ud ever watch that video?? (6:04pm)

omfg! (6:05pm)

Oh yeah? (6:07pm)

Well, you //are// famous, aren't you? What were the chances of me //not// seeing your video? (6:08pm)

Ur kinda stupid, you know. (6:08pm)

And ur a smartarse (6:09pm)

oi (6:11pm)

go on a date with me pls? (6:11pm)

We (6:13pm)

We've literally been talking for ten minutes (6:13pm)

I could be incredibly boring (6:14pm)

just the fact that u dont immediately say 'yes' to a date with me (6:15pm)

makes u fuckin interestng to me (6:15pm)

Oh, modest one, are you? (6:15pm)

fuck thats exACtly what im talkin ab (6:17pm)

ur just so snarkyy and s a s s y! (6:17pm)

Just because no one told you that you're an arrogant bastard except for me doesn't mean that you aren't (6:18pm)

istG you make me so horny (6:18pm)

Keep this fucking chat G-Rated, Black!! (6:19pm)

fawk you (6:19pm)

Believe me if we ever do, it's I doing the fucking (6:20pm)

I am literally speechless rn and need a shower (6:24pm)

ttyl (6:24pm)

Hah (6:26pm)

Go cool down (6:26pm)

Oh and btw I say yes to a date, you pay and you better not disappoint (7:02pm)

* * *

* * *

* * *

brother prongS🍃

* * *

oMfG PRONGSAHG (7:06pm)

HE SAID YES HSHGHGJASHJGAS (7:06pm)

KGASKGHSA (7:06pm)

KKASKKh (7:06pm)

ajjgJhg (7:07pm)

oi mate stop (7:07pm)

congrats hah (7:08pm)

go get ur manz (7:08pm)

use condoms (7:08pm)

take the xl ones - ur dudes givin massive bde (7:09pm)

omg fuck oFF (7:10pm)

..ur not wrong tho (7:11pm)

oh my fucKING GAWWWGGJAJHHGJAS (7:12pm)

sirius (7:12pm)

calm the fuck down (7:12pm)

u lits met tis dude in a coffeeshop and fell in luv w/ him bc he insulted u (7:13pm)

omg thats the bottomest thing youve ever done ajhkajhk (7:14pm)

... (7:16pm)

shUT UP (7:16pm)

sHUT. uPP! (7:16pm)

i h8 u prongs (7:17pm)

nah u dont (7:18pm)

now (7:18pm)

be nice and go text remus (7:18pm)

and do not be a horny mutt pads (7:19pm)

whEN am i a horny mutt?? (7:20pm)

... (7:22pm)

ok that didnt even sound believable to mehgjakakaj (7:23pm)

*facepalm* (7:23pm)

* * *

* * *

* * *

Private Conversation with **theofficialredhead**

* * *

Oi you dickhead listen up (7:21pm)

I'm the fucking momfriend in Moony's friendgroup. (7:21pm)

And I'm here to fulfill my duty as such. (7:22pm)

... (7:25pm)

Im listening (7:25pm)

I'm here to give you a proper shoveltalk (7:26pm)

Ok so listen (7:26pm)

Should you ever, and I mean /ever/, hurt Remus, make him cry, use him in any way or do any other thing that isn't morally correct, I will (7:27pm)

1\. Cut off every single fucking toe you have and make pancakes with them and will feed it to you (7:28pm)

2\. Take scissors and cut off your bloody balls and make earrings for me to wear (7:29pm)

And 3. Use an axe to rip you into shreds and slowly feed you to my goldfish sandy. (7:30pm)

We clear? (7:30pm)

Uh ma'am (7:32pm)

Im positively scared of you (7:32pm)

but i also bow in front of you (7:33pm)

amen sister, i vow to protect our bean moony (7:33pm)

Good, good. (7:34pm)

Also Remus is in love with chocolate and the best way to woo him is through his stomach (7:36pm)

Just sayin (7:36pm)

God, woman, I could kiss you rn (7:37pm)

Save your kisses for Remus (7:37pm)

((He has a sensitive spot right under his jaw, fyi)) (7:39pm)

I- (7:42pm)

hOW do you even knOW thiS? (7:44pm)

Let's just say we once got rly stoned and had an orgy okay (7:45pm)

...Don't tell Remus I told you that (7:45pm)

I literally-- (7:46pm)

what size of condoms should i get (7:49pm)

... (7:49pm)

The bloody biggest you can find (7:50pm)

* * *

* * *

* * *

brother prongS🍃

* * *

mate (7:47pm)

i got you a girl (7:47pm)

how often did i tell you i dont want fucking dating advice from u (7:48pm)

and dont bloody set me up (7:49pm)

 _(Message Attachment: Screenshot)_ (7:52pm)

 _(Message Attachment: Screenshot) (_ 7:52pm)

(7:52pm)

fucking hell (7:57pm)

whats her @ (7:58pm)

* * *

* * *


End file.
